Have you ached in a way that makes your knee worn prayer silent?
Do you know of this ache?
I think you do because your chest rises and falls. And in a world with broken things and hurting people we are bound to know of this ache.
And it hurts and I know there are no answers. Are you angry? Do you find yourself shutting down? Are you furious at the pain or are you refusing to say things can hurt? Both are temping: to shout out our pain and in the same breath pretend we cannot be hurt. Both pretend to be a shield: to keep us from the ache.
But the problem is you really are hurt. The rising and falling of your chest means that your heart can be hurt. And this is hard. This makes praying hard.
But do you believe we can pray with groans?
Do you believe that tears can say “Dear Father, be near. Please be close.”?
Soul, I want you to remember something.
A wooden beam held a Man that let cold nails pierce His rising and falling flesh. Soul, this man proved that He wanted you that day. Soul, this man proved He loved you that day.
I know you can’t say the words you wish to pray. But soul, will you trust God with the words?
Soul, will you let the Man who was willing to die for you also pray for you?
It’s hard to say you’re too hurt to pray but what if I told you He knows.
Because that’s what’s exhausting about grief: no one really gets it.
And you know what soul, you don’t really get it.
But would you be willing to believe the One who formed your heart knows?
Soul, tonight will you trust Him with tears and groans and hopes that didn’t grow?
I want you to remember He’s a Father. I want you to remember that He’s the Father with broad shoulders and tender hands. I want you to remember that His plan is hope and you can’t frustrate His plan.
Soul, lastly I want you to be vulnerable enough to hope tonight. I want you to hope because darkness turns into light with one single word from His tongue.
Do you believe He still creates?
Do you believe He still calls things good?
Do you believe He knows?