In Fear and Trembling

“In all other beings we see some lack, in him there is all perfection. The best even of his favoured saints have had blots upon their garments and wrinkles upon their brows; he is nothing but loveliness.” Spurgeon

We cannot love what we do not know. I’m not about to get into a philosophical debate about what it is to ‘know’, yet, some clarification is necessary. We are created beings, made in the image of God. This very statement implies something about our knowledge of Christ. This beautiful, wonderful, knowledge of our Savior was meant to unlock and warm our hearts. That is, we were made for no other purpose than to walk with our God, Savior, and King. This means that although we come broken, we were made to come. 

I’m not sure the fullness of that statement gets deep enough into my inner rooms. We were made to come. Creatures have a purpose. We cannot fill our own lungs with air. We cannot make our hair grow, our stomachs digest, or our hands clasp. We can enjoy these gifts but we cannot make them. The fullness of God is manifested in our very ability to wake, sleep, hug, cry, and hold. 

The knowledge of our reliance must preface our love for Christ. If we reject our need, we won’t love the one who meets it. In my morning hours I often strain my heart to love Christ, I know I should, I know He is worthy, and yet, my heart often doesn’t see the need. I wonder if a careful inspection each morning is necessary. 

Like a doctor that carefully examines his patient before surgery, our hearts need to be inspected. I wish there was an x-ray machine for my motives. I wish a simple CAT scan could show me all my sin. Yet, it’s not hidden beneath flesh and bones, but covered by pride, self-righteousness, pity, bitterness, and hurt. 

Perhaps, we need to simply ask our Creator to show us our injuries before we can love the surgery. I know. It seems odd that we would have to do so with such frequency, but my heart needs it every day. And you know what? People need us to value the surgery everyday. If we are to be vessels of joy, we cannot be vessels of pride. The two cannot flow in the same vein. 

I cannot love Christ and hold out my strivings. He did not give part of himself at Calvary. The nails did not stop at his bone. He did not take part of our sin. Christ did not die to cover part of our shame.

No. Christ’s resurrection was full and complete. The lover of our souls does not wait for us to rise, but says, “Come out of your grave.” 

If He did not call, we would not live. 

Truly, He is more beautiful than our simple mouthes can express.
Truly, His love is more powerful than our graves. 
Truly, we cannot role away the stone. 

Truly, He is our Savior. 

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