It’s not about me.
Those words can sometimes be terribly hard to find. They get piled beneath clubs, relationships, goals, and ambitions. The core truth that refocus attention back to others can be misplaced as easily as a set of keys. You can search in frustration, all the time asking yourself, “Why can’t they just say _____, I just need to hear_____, if I were them I would just say____”. The couch cushions get thrown, the desk is ransacked, backpacks are thrown open-their contents left all over the floor. Still no luck.
It’s a bad habit. Sometimes life just gets going and the simple act of hanging keys on the hook seems to be forgotten…or deemed unimportant. Instead I leave them in a crumpled pair of jeans, or on the coffee table beneath piles of papers, books, and coffee mugs.
It’s the same with this truth isn’t it? The 10 minutes that I have to refocuses my morning are lost and with it the truth. It’s not so bad for a day or two. I can get by for a while until I find desperately needing forgiveness, quenched for the satisfaction of letting go. A deep part of me knows that there is something beyond me. But, this has been a week of little organization, of little discipline. The keys could be anywhere. I’m not even sure when I used them last.
So I sit. And I start to listen. I start to rise out of my creaky bed when the morning still drips with dew, and the coolness from the night before lingers on. I venture out on the porch and remember. Not just “It’s not about me”…but something whispers, “joy comes from selflessness.” It’s not logical and it sure isn’t what we feel inclined to do. Everything in me screams “You were hurt, you were treated badly, protect yourself”. The voice has quite the stockpile of “protection”. With in a second I am armed with bitterness, pity, anger, and pride. Forgiveness can come later. For now, bitterness seems to fit my hand so nicely, the cold edges form quickly to my hand and an embrace seems innocent. However, after a while, when I want to shed bitterness it refuses to leave. It has latched on and grown. It’s screaming for praise, it’s very particular what it needs to hear in order to leave. In fact it needs a guarantee of no more hurt in order to pack its bags. No wonder so many have embraced bitterness: hurt is inevitable.
I find joy in hanging the keys up. I know that every second spent with my creator provides real protection. The whispers that stir my heart in the morning do not guarantee a hurt free day. No, they create something much better. These whispers create protection against bitterness. Forgiveness saves me from myself. Forgiveness clears the narrow path and creates a wide street for love to flow. It wipes away all pride, and in its place puts thankfulness. Thankfulness; for my heart is looked on by a King and counted pure and blameless.
Thank God it’s not about me.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave.”